my only wish
by singalot97
Summary: Bella is unhappy with her life.With a hormonal sister and a deceased mother, life doesn't look good. She is beaten by her adoptive brother and her father doesnt care. Can a shooting star change her life...or is it a certain young man with green eyes...
1. stacey shut up

My only wish

**Bella is unhappy with her a hormonal sister and a deceased mother, life doesn't look good. She is beaten by her adoptive brother and her father doesnt care. Can a shooting star change her life...or will it be a certain young man with green eyes...**

"Stacey, will you please shut up." My sister stacy had been going on and on about her boyfriend. after two hours of 'brad is so cute'and'Brad is so funny'. brad this,brad that, my head was going to explode. she turned smug. "you're just jealous that i have a boyfriend and you don't". I looked at her in disbelief. I replied "you know that isnt true...i am really happy for you Stacey but i'm worried that someone will discover us..."her face fell. i took a deep breath and continued"...we would be separated for sure."

"i know Bella but...God sometimes i try to forget that James does this to us. that mum isn't..." tears started falling down her cheeks.

"shhhh, dont cry. We can always be sure that mum is happy and watching over us. Anyways we can always be thankful we are not poor right?"

"right"

it took us 5 minutes to get home. I tried to sneak in but my 'dearest brother' had the hearing of a wildcat. "Going somewhere"grabbing a fistful of hair. i could smell the alcohol on his breath. he shook me "Answer me when i speak whore!"

"i-iii-i j-j-j..."

spit it out"

"i ju-ust wanted t-to t-take a shower". he made a thoughtful face.i thought i saw a glint of regret and guilt in his eyes. Then Stacey opened her trap.

"leave her alone, why are doing this to us".she yelled. He looked at her in surprise.

"i dont know"he released me and broke down crying. I tried to back away but just as i thought i was out of his reach...he grabbed my leg. I went headfirst down the stairs. I saw a tear leave a wet trail on his handsome face...then all went black.

i woke in the middle of the night. i carefully moved my limbs. Ow. nothing was broken though. i felt a warm stickiness on the back of my head. I moved slowly up the stairs to the bathroom. i examined my face in the mirror. It was no different to what it was before. I cleaned my head and headed for the roof. i went up there to think sometimes. I sat and saw a star shoot across the sky. "i wish that i had someone i could trust,someone who would hold me,love me and never hurt me. someone i could call my own. someone who never makes fun of me or hits me. that is my one and solitary wish"i said out loud."please let it come true"i whispered. I saw movement from the corner of my eye. In the next door house i saw our new neighbours. But that wasn't what caught my attention. He was perfect. He was handsome and looked really kind. He was on the roof. He was staring right at me. he whispered loudly" do i have permission to cross to your territory"

"of course" i replied. "Edward"he said. "Bella"i replied. He was staring at me. "Do I have something on my face"

"Bella i heard everything from next door." His expression was pained.

"yeah well, nobody is perfect." He became angry.

"if you don't do something about it soon it will become worse...do you really want your sister to go through that?"

anger boiled inside of me. "Who are you to tell me what to do. Do you think i don't care about my sister. Do you think I like having to get hurt every time that i walk through the door. Do you think I like hearing my sister sobbing when i wake up screaming in the middle of the night. The only two reasons i haven't gone straight to social services is: 1. I promised my mother I would keep us together and i'm afraid if i say something to S.S we'll end up being separated and matter how far away we run, whoever we run to will be put into immediate danger. i don't want to hurt someone or be responsible. You don't know how many safety procedures we have at home... Or maybe you do as you have been spying on us." and with that i turned and walked away. before i ducked back into my attic window i said "you're not allowed on my territory anymore".


	2. why does god hate me

**Sorry for keeping anyone waiting, I was just having a writers block. Thanx to anyone who reviewed me(which was like one) i hope you enjoy the next installment of my story. please review, I'd really like to know what you think and if you have any suggestions please let me know because i really want my first story to a success(here's to hoping.)**

**all characters belong to the wonderful mind of S.M. Please imagine that Edward and Bella wrote these songs.**

The next day was no different than any other. As soon as we were out of sight of the house i asked the question which had been bothering me.

"Stacey, do you think I'm doing the right thing...keeping quiet i mean"

"To be honest with you i really don't know. But I know that all that you do, you do for me. And although i don't say it much...thank you."

"no problem"

all of a sudden a silver Volvo drove up beside us. the windows were tinted but i knew who was behind them before the passenger side window rolled down.

"Hey Bella, hey Stacey. Want a ride to school."Edward smiled as he took in my narrowed eyes.

"No thanks, My boyfriend is picking me up by the old barn" Stacey looked at me as she finished her sentence...and continued. "But I'm sure Bella wouldn't like to turn down such a generous offer, after all, all my boyfriend has is a motorcycle, and if she turns down this she has to walk all the way to school with no company at all...and i really don't want to worry about her."i looked at her.

"what are you doing" i whispered under my breath.

"getting you a date." she said with a sly smile. Unfortunately for me...Edward heard. Stacey and him exchanged a quick look. Then I gave in to the pressure and got into his car. I looked at him expectantly. "Well" i said in a matter of fact tone. "Are you planning on getting me to school sometime this century." He smiled and started the car up again.

"bye stace, see you in school" said the evil one. He then accelerated and we were off. We sat in silence for a while until he got tired of it and said "so Bella what do you like to do as hobbies?" I was more than a little surprised at the random subject of the conversation so I replied "reading but mostly anything to do with music" He looked surprised at my answer. "really?, I love music too and reading. What do you play."

"Guitar, piano and violin"

"How did you find the time to learn with...whats going on at home" I hated that he was so self conscious when he spoke to me. I mean if we were gonna have a relationship-wait! WHAT! Damn Stacey to the deepest pits of tartarus(sorry about the Percy Jackson extract there but I couldn't help myself.)for putting stupid ideas in my head.

"actually I taught myself in the weekends charlie and James were at work and over the summer."He was about to say something but I cut him off. "Listen, Edward this car ride was not my idea but as its happening and as we still have a half hour drive to school let me make one thing clear. When you talk to me I don't want you to have to examine every single sentence for anything that might be offensive to me. I am a big girl and if I have a problem with what you say I can assure you I will say something. For example, when you said 'how did you find the time to learn with...whats going on at home' you should have said ' how did you find the time to learn when you look like you've been hit with a crowbar every two seconds' do I make myself clear."

"transparent" I gave him a playful glare which he returned and for the next 25 minutes we played the 20 questions game. I actually felt upset when we finally arrived at school.

"Bella" Edward said looking down

"yes?" I said confused. I wondered what had changed his mood so suddenly.

"i don't want to sound too forward but would you consider me as your permanent taxi driver to and from school."

"That depends" I said

"on what?" he asked

on whether you can stop being gorgeous looking down at me with those gorgeous emerald green eyes. Uggggggghhhh STACEY!

"on whether ill be your only passenger or not" He looked surprised at me accepting.

"Am I really that bad"

"yes"

"oh thanks" that stung a bit but nothing my emotions concealer couldn't cover up. I loved school. Every day we would start it off with 4 beautiful hours of music. I wondered what Mr Whitlock would have in store for us today. Edward was in the same music class as I was so he sat next to me.

"Good Morning class, if I remember correctly last week I suggested you attempt composing your own tune so we could work on lyrics. Who would like to go first."

Although my tune was done with lyrics already I didn't put my hand up.

"eenie-meanie-minie-Bella"

What why me. I got up as Edward watched me with anxious eyes. My tune began and I couldn't help singing my lyrics

_ha ha ha ha ha haa_

_ha ha ha ha ha ha haa_

_ha ha ha ha ha haa_

_ha ha ha ha ha ha haa_

_one more hour burns_

_so scared of his return_

_that I cant sleep tonight _

_in this hospital light_

_what you call tragedy_

_is just another day to me_

_for my heart beats with fear_

_as his footsteps draw near_

_the life i'm meant to lead_

_wont slip away from me_

_cause this time's the last time_

_I know that my eyes have seen too much_

_this nightmare is not fair_

_and I've had enough_

_you break me as I bleed _

_you just say your sorry_

_you call this love _

_but this time your lies are not enough_

_this time_

_ha ha ha ha ha haa_

_there's nothing left of this_

_your whispered words and empty threats_

_ripple away the seams of what I thought this would be_

_the last thread has come undone_

_to reveal what i've become _

_another victim of forcing love_

_i've been afraid for years _

_but that won't keep me here_

_cause this time's the last time_

_I know that my eyes have seen too much_

_this nightmare is not fair_

_and i've had enough_

_you break me _

_you just say your sorry_

_you call this love _

_but this time your lies are not enough_

_this time_

_and what remains a mystery_

_you cannot have the best of me_

_so i'm taking back all you took from me_

_cause this time's the last time_

_I know that my eyes have seen too much_

_this nightmare is not fair_

_and i've had enough_

_you break me _

_you just say your sorry_

_you call this love _

_but this time your lies are not enough_

_this time_

_ha ha ha ha ha haa_

_ha ha ha ha ha haa_

_ha ha ha ha ha haa_

_ha ha ha ha ha haa_

I finished my song and every one was quiet. I must be really bad. Then I saw Edward. His eyes were a mixture of anger, pain and something else that I couldn't quite name. All of a sudden the room erupted in clapping and cheering. Edward had a tear running down his cheek. This bothered me. It made me angry at myself for making him upset. I sat down and Mr Whitlock said

" class, Miss swan is the perfect example of someone who can go far in the music industry if she tries. And since i'm such a wonderful teacher," He turned to face me. "Bella I want you to try to write a song every week and than display it here." I was so happy. They liked me, they really really liked me. God that sounded like I had just won the Oscars. Then Edward volunteered to go next.

_Come stop your crying _

_it will be alright_

_just take my hand_

_hold it tight _

_I will protect you from all around you_

_I will be here don't you cry_

Oh my God. He was singing to me. I took it upon myself to add rhythm to the song and sat down behind the drum set and kicked off

_for one so hurt_

_you seem so strong_

_my arms will hold you_

_keep you safe and warm _

_this bond between us can't be broken_

_I will be here don't you cry_

eeeeep.

_Cause you'll be in my heart_

_you'll be in my heart_

_from this day on_

_now and forever on_

_you'll be in my heart_

_no matter what they say_

_you'll be here in my heart_

_always_

_why can't they understand the way we feel_

_they just don't trust what they can't explain_

_I know we're different but deep inside us_

_we're not that different at all_

_you'll be in my heart_

_yes you'll be in my heart_

_from this day on_

_now and forever on_

_don't listen to them cause what do they know_

_we need each other to have to hold_

_they'll see in time, I know_

_when destiny calls you you must be strong_

_I may not be with you but you've got to hold on_

_they'll see in time, I know_

_we'll show them together_

_Cause you'll be in my heart_

_believe me you'll be in my heart(I'll be there)_

_from this day on_

_now and forever on_

_you'll be in my heart (you'll be here in my heart)_

_no matter what they say (I'll be with you)_

_you'll be here in my heart( I'll be there)_

_always_

_always_

_I'll be with you_

_I'll be there for you always_

_always and always_

_just look over your shoulder(*3)_

_I'll be there always_

maybe my life wouldn't be so bad after all. Mr Whitlock then said "i will not be here for two weeks so may I please introduce Mr James Swan who will be taking over this class until I return.

Why does God hate me.

**Ooooh whats gonna happen next. O.K what did you think... as I can't hear you please review to let me know. I will take your suggestions into consideration. And just before I post this I want to give a shout out to my best friend for introducing me to fan fiction.**


	3. He could be the one

**Hey again peoples. Here's the next part of _My only wish. _This chapter is called _he could be the_ one so enjoy.**

_maybe my life wouldn't be so bad after all. Mr Whitlock then said "i will not be here for two weeks so may I please introduce Mr James Swan who will be taking over this class until I return._

_Why does God hate me._

James turned to look at me and he gasped. I was worried. I really hoped he wouldn't do anything to me in class. Or ask me to sing him my song. "Bella, I didn't know you were in this class. Why don't you tell me what you've been doing." Mr Whitlock had left him in charge.

"Well, we were just singing and playing our own tunes. Basically handing in our homework." don't ask me, don't ask me, don't ask me... "Well Bella, why don't you show us your song."

"I already sang" the traitor Mike then said he wanted to here me sing another song and the rest of the class agreed with him. I only had one song which wasn't about abuse and I hadn't finished that one. So I decided to try and wing it.

_Smooth talkin-_

Then the bell rang for the end of class. "_Has it really been four hours already." _I wasn't ready for music to end but I knew it had to. Plus I could take comfort in the fact we would have music tomorrow. And I wouldn't have James till next week.

"Kids, Mr Swan will take over the class tomorrow so he can get to know you all. I know we were going to write our lyrics this lesson but there has been a change of plans so can you please finish them for homework." Then Mr Whitlock turned to me and said "Bella, I think it would really give your classmates some confidence if you brought in another song tomorrow, and your brother would know what you're capable of." He gave me a smile of encouragement. I forced a smile but inside I was screaming. What was I going to do?

The rest of the day moved at a sluggish pace. I didn't see Edward again till the end of school and when I did I could see he was forcing a smile. I didn't say anything_, _I just got in the car. 15 minutes later we still hadn't said anything. I couldn't take it anymore. So I simply stated "you're pissed" when he didn't say anything I asked "why?"

"How could that bastard come to our school, like its not bad enough that he tortures you at home, now he has to bully you here too." He was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

"Edward calm down."

"How can I calm down, I feel powerless. Its not like I can come to your house and tell him to stop hurting you, or can I stand up to him in class if he starts bullying you because that would probably make things worse." He hit the steering wheel. "God damn it all."

"Edward, its not your responsibility to protect me."

"Neither is it yours to protect your sister yet you do."

"That's different she's my sister."

"And I'm your friend."

"What if I don't want you to protect me."

"Bella, I just promised you I would protect you no matter what and I'm not about to break that promise."

"Edward, you're over-reacting"

The car screeched to a stop on the side of the road. He looked at me, pain and hurt evident in his eyes with a hint of anger.

"Give me you're hand" oh no, I had gotten on James' wrong side this morning and he had grabbed my wrist hard leaving purplish finger marks. I had been rubbing my wrist mindlessly not realizing he had noticed. I gave him my left wrist hoping he wouldn't notice. "Bella, the other one, how badly did he hurt you?" I gave him my other hand and winced as he took it gently into his hands and pulled the jumper sleeve up to reveal a very swollen purple wrist.

"oh my god, I'm getting you to the hospital right now" panic shot through me.

"no, please, this such a small town, word will spread and he will find out, then it will make things worse"

"This is exactly what I'm talking about... fine but I want you to go to my dad to check it, o.k?"

"o.k fine, stop fussing." But even though I put on a show, I was thrilled someone cared enough about me to take me to their house just so I could get my hand fixed.

He interuppted by asking a very random question. "Can you sing that song you were going to sing in music?"

"O.K but I just want you to know that this song is being made up as I go along. A lot of my lyrics are made up like that but at the same time they come straight from the heart. So please excuse me if the song is awful."

_smooth talkin_

_so rockin'_

_he's got everything that a girls wantin'_

_guitar cutie_

_he plays it groovy_

_and I can't keep myself from doin somethin stupid_

_think im really fallin for his smile_

_yeah butterflies when he says my name_

_hes got somethin special_

_hes got somethin special_

_and when hes lookin at me I want to get all sentimental_

_hes got somethin special_

_hes got somethin special_

_and I can hardly breathe, somethins tellin me,tellin me he maybe could be the one_

_he could be the one *5_

_hes lightnin_

_sparks are flyin_

_everywhere I go hes always on my mind and_

_im goin crazy_

_bout him lately_

_and help myself from how my heart is racin_

_think im really diggin on his vibe_

_he really blows me away_

_hes got somethin special_

_hes got somethin special_

_and when hes lookin at me I want to get all sentimental_

_hes got somethin special_

_hes got somethin special_

_and I can hardly breathe, somethins tellin me,tellin me he maybe could be the one_

_he could be the one *5_

_And hes gotta way_

_of making me feel_

_like everything I do is_

_perfectly fine_

_the stars are aligned_

_when im with him_

_and im so into him_

_hes got somethin special_

_hes got somethin special_

_and when hes lookin at me I want to get all sentimental_

_hes got somethin special_

_hes got somethin special_

_and I can hardly breathe, somethins tellin me,tellin me he maybe could be the one_

_he could be the one *5_

As the car drove up to his driveway I finished. We looked into eachothers eyes and I felt I would melt into a puddle on the floor. His eyes were a deep green filled with awe. I was sure we would kiss, so sure. Until a bundle of energy opened the car door and yanked me out. I was immediately assaulted from behind into a huge bear hug accompanying a deep voice which said "hey Bella, im Emmett but you can call me Emmy" If I thought my ribs were healed , I was wrong, but for emmetts sake I simply choked out "Emmy Ca-n't b-re-ath"

"oops" he said as he put me down. But my relief was short lived as I was pulled into another hug by an insanely gorgeous girl.

"again, breathing-is-d-imini-shing" She drew back and said, "Hi, my name is Rosalie but you can call me Rose" before I could respond I was pulled into another hug by the energy ball. She introduced herself "hi im alice but you can call me ali" She squeezed tighter and I couldn't stop a whimper escaping my lips. "Alice let go of her" said Edward. She let go and I sank to the floor. "Bella are you o.k?" asked Edward looking concerned

"ow" I said. The floor suddenly disappeared from underneath me as Edward scooped me into his arms. I started to protest. "pu-".

"Its either this or we will get a stretcher out here to carry you inside." with a humph I gave in and let him carry me. "Emmy, can you do me big, big favour."

"Yes Bellsy?"

"can you please go and inform my sister of the fact I am here?"

"Of course, where is she"

"at the old barn" replied Edward.

"Cool, see you in five minutes"

I was carried inside by Edward and as we neared the entrance I saw a woman who I assumed was his mother at the doorway. Would this day never end...

_**I need ideas for how bella finds out she is in love with Edward. And I also want to know if I should add at least one chapter of Edwards pov. Basically what im saying is HELP! Review Review Review Review*100**_


	4. one way or another

**Thanx to the people who reviewed me and to Stinnacullen109 for helping me. Again please imagine Edward and Bella write the songs they appear in. Although I would love to take credit for the characters...i can't so all characters belong to the imagination of SM.**

_I was carried inside by Edward and as we neared the entrance I saw a woman who I assumed was his mother at the doorway. Would this day never end..._

The woman rushed forward. "Edward, is she O.K, is she hurt. Do you think she would like a drink."

O.K. So I know she was trying to help but at least james doesn't treat me like i'm invisible. I may have lost my temper a little...

"_She_ is right here and _she _has a name. She is _not _O.K. She _is _hurt. She would _not _like a drink and she'd appreciate it if you acknowledged her prescence in your sons arms!" O.K. So I completely flew off the handle.

"I would also appreciate it if your son put me down as I am not a cripple."

I looked at Edward pointedly and with a look of concern he reluctantly put me on the ground.

I began to walk towards my house, wincing slightly at the motion but once again the floor disappeared and I was In Edwards arms. I was about to protest once more but I closed my big mouth as I saw Edwards eyes, silently begging me not to say anything.

We were all quiet as I was carried into the house.

Ali rushed up to her room to finish her homework and Rose followed her.

Edwards mother started talking. "I am very sorry I offended you Bella. I just didn't know how you would react to having a random stranger fussing over you. I'm Esme, Edwards mother. You are free to stay here as long as you like. Carlisle won't be home for another half hour so you kids head on upstairs and i'll make some cookies." She rushed off to the kitchen before I could reply.

I was about to tell Edward to take me to the kitchen so I could apologise but I was distracted by the door opening.

Emmett came in followed by a strange man with blonde hair.

"Stacey said she would cover for you till you got home, so you can take your time." Emmett said.

The stranger went forward and said "Hi, I'm Jasper but you can call me Jazz." He looked nice enough.

"Hey Jazz I'm Bella but you can call me bellsy seeing as Emmett already calls me that."

He chuckled, "Well its nice to meet you but I need to go before my alice decides to kill me."

"Yeah, me too." said Emmett

"bye guys."

five minutes later I was sitting on Edwards piano stool.

He was doing some homework and my fingers were itching to use the piano.

"Go ahead" he said without looking up. I stretched my fingers and placed them on the ivory keys. I then let the melody flow out of me. Again, i'm a sucker for singing.

_Ooooooh_

_theres a hero_

_if you look inside your heart_

_you don't have to be afraid_

_of what you are_

_there's an answer_

_if reach into your soul_

_and the sorrow that you know_

_will melt away_

_and then a hero comes along_

_with the strength to carry on_

_and you cast your fears aside_

_and you know you can't survive_

_so when you feel like hope is gone_

_look inside you and be strong_

_and you'll finally see the truth_

_that a hero lies in you_

_its a long road_

_when you face the world alone_

_no one reaches out a hand _

_for you to hold_

_you can find love_

_when you reach into yourself_

_and hopelessness you felt_

_will disappear _

_and then a hero comes along_

_with the strength to carry on_

_and you cast your fears aside_

_and you know you can't survive_

_so when you feel like hope is gone_

_look inside you and be strong_

_and you'll finally see the truth_

_that a hero lies in you_

_ohh_

_lord knows_

_dreams are hard to follow_

_don't let anyone tear them away_

_hold on_

_there will be tomorrow_

_in time we'll find a way_

_and then a hero comes along_

_with the strength to carry on_

_and you cast your fears aside_

_and you know you can't survive_

_so when you feel like hope is gone_

_look inside you and be strong_

_and you'll finally see the truth_

_that a hero lies in you_

_that a hero lies in you_

I finished the song and looked round. He was sitting next to me. When did that happen.

I looked into his eyes to find some clue to what he was thinking. What I did find stunned me. Concern, care and something I still couldn't name.

"How can you have so much faith with everything that's happened to you." He said in a voice that could make my heart break.

"I guess when everything you ever loved crashes round you the only thing you can have is faith that someday you'll find something worth living for. Do you want to know what happened to me?"

He nodded."but only if you're ready to tell me" he said quickly.

"Seven years before I was born, the doctors announced that my mum was infertile so she couldn't have kids. So they decided to adopt a newborn so they could raise the child as their own. So they adopted James.

Seven years later, I was born. James was everything a brother should be. Kind, supportive, protective and when Stacey was born he repeated his actions, but...when I was eight and Stacey was four... I was in the car with mum and some guy came hurtling round the corner at a give way sign. I didn't put on my seat belt and I was thrown forward into the windshield. I was tossed out of the car and my mum burned when the car exploded.

They found my mum but I hid in the woods for three days by myself. I don't remember much of those three days only that it was dark and I was cold, very cold. I also remember something that could have been a dream. Someone leading me out of the forest. My mum. She told me that I had to be strong and keep us together always. She told me to protect my sister because James had some dark days ahead and he couldn't protect us. I made my promises and she disappeared leaving me at the edge of the forest."

Edward brushed away a tear from my cheek.

"My mum was right.

My brother was fifteen and was devastated but although he started hitting me no-one was in more pain than my father, because on the day I lost my mum, my dad died inside. He just stopped caring. He became like a zombie. He did his work and fed us but... there was no emotion behind it.

I did my best to keep my promises to my mum. James did his best to make our lives miserable,but he never quite succeeded with stacey, I suppose it was because she was beautiful and worth something in this world unlike me.

Stacey has only ever got hit once and that was because I was unconcious.

I intend to keep my promises but...it means giving up all my hopes and dreams. Whenever I feel sad that I won't fulfil my dream, I feel...selfish."

I let two more tears escape my eyes as I looked down.

Edward took my face in both his hands but I still looked down with my eyes.

"Bella, look at me."He said softly. I looked up and looked at him. His eyes held sadness, care, anger, understanding and that damn emotion I couldn't name. His jaw was set in determination and he licked his lips before he spoke. "Bella, you aren't selfish, in fact, you are the most unselfish person I have ever met. Not many people would have put themselves in front of their sister to protect them... but you did. And as for beauty and worth, I never want to hear you say that you aren't both beautiful and worth something. Because you are"

I gazed into his green eyes and he stared back into mine. He slowly bent his head and we drew closer and closer until...

"BELLA, Carlisle is here...oh, i'm so sorry, I didn't mean, I'll go, um...bye" Alice both opened and closed the door with a bang. "Well, there goes the pixie"

I went to stand up but I was in Edwards arms before I could. "You know, I keep waiting for you to realise i'm too much trouble to bother with and just leave me in my misery."

He looked surprised and then upset.

"I wouldn't leave you, ever, my life is now tied to yours in some way, we have a deep connection and I don't think it can ever be broken."

Perfect. He was Perfect. In every way.

One thing was for certain. I was in love with Edward Cullen...and there was no going back.

* * *

E.P.O.V

I couldn't stop thinking about her. Her smile, her laugh, her unselfishness, everything about her was perfect. The girl had three bones reset and five stitches on the back of her head and didn't even wince. Carlisle called her his best patient ever, Esme said she was a wonderful girl who stood up for herself, Jazz and Em thought of her as a little sister, Rose and Ali felt they could be open with her and as for me...I didn't know. I loved her that was for sure. _But how can you love someone and let them get hurt _said the tiny voice in the back of my head. I didn't try to argue with it. I knew it was right. How could i feel so overjoyed and lousy at the same time. But i knew that if someone was to help her, it was to be me. And i was going to tell her i loved her one way or another.

**ok. so i need help picking songs. Im running out of ideas for Bella's confidence song. Im wondering whether to choose don't stop believing or taking chances. Please review.**


	5. Bad feelings

Here I am  
Once again  
Feeling lost but now and then

More lyrics: .com/lyrics/v/victoria_justice/#share

_But I knew that if someone was to help her, it would be me. And I was going to tell her I loved her one way or another_

B.P.O.V

_I was in a meadow. The flowers swayed with the light breeze and the sunshine was at just the right angle to give enough light so I could see the perfect features of Edwards face. He was sitting down, one leg crossed the other out stretched so I could lean against him without a trainer in my back. His shirt went with his eyes perfectly, and he was gazing at me like I was the prize instead of the outrageously lucky winner. Everything was perfect...then James appeared at the edge of the forest, holding a gun. "You thought you could run Bella, but you can't." The gunshot sounded all around and Edward doubled over in pain. James came running over. "I thought the safety catch was on, I swear Bella." I could just hear James over my sobbing as Edward spoke his last words to me. "I will always love you, Bella."_

"_NO, Edward please, I love you too, please wake up, I can't live without you, Edward, EDWARD"_

I woke up crying, feeling glad that Edward hadn't heard me...when I saw a flash of bronze disappear from the top of my window. I was out of bed immediately and climbing out of my window before you could say- "Edward" I said as I saw him gazing at the stars from my roof. He turned his head slightly, acknowledging my presence. " I was on my roof thinking because I couldn't sleep, when I heard you scream. When I realized that it was coming from your room I assumed the worst. Then I saw it was just you sleeping and...I guess I just wanted to check you were all right."

"oh, Edward, I'm f-"

"Don't you dare say fine, you are not fine, I-" He sighed "I just don't know what I've done to make you so scared of me, I mean all i-"

"whoa whoa whoa wait. What do you mean scaring me." I interrupted. His eyes flashed with anger.

"Don't play games with me Bella, I heard your dream." I stared at him, puzzled.

"what exactly did you hear." I exclaimed puzzled.

"I saw the tears and I heard you scream _NO, Edward please._" He looked so hurt that I automatically wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him. "Edward you completely misunderstood my dream...or nightmare as the case may be."

"What are you talking about Bella" Then I realized my dilemma. I had a choice. I could tell him my dream, lay my cards down on the table and risk not only our friendship but also my secret...or I could not tell him and lose him as a friend anyway. It was like I was on one of those game shows and I had come to the last question of the night. I could back out with nothing or risk it all.

"Bella I'm waiting."he said looking me in the eye.

"I-I-I can't tell you." He looked even more hurt for a brief second then his eyes lost all emotion.

"I really thought you trusted me. That we were becoming friends. Guess I was wrong." He began to walk to the edge of the roof and I shout whispered to him "Everybody has to have a secret. This is mine." Without looking at me he said "At the end of the day there is just one question you need to ask yourself. Which means more to you. Our friendship or your secret."

So for the rest of the night that was the question I asked myself. Which meant more to me. As I came to my decision I began to cry. Because something in my heart told something was going to happen tomorrow. And it wasn't going to be good

The next morning I got into my top which Edward had once complimented and a pair of jeans. I brushed my hair and put it into a french twist with a clip I had just found. I pulled on an old pair of boots and headed downstairs for a cereal bar. Normally I would go for toast but I could see I was running late.

Stacey, James and my dad had already left for school/work so I just ran out of the house as fast as I could, my book bag slung carelessly over my shoulder.

Then as I neared the old barn. I saw it. The silver Volvo I thought I'd never see waiting for me again. I walked round to the passenger side cautiously and looked in through the passenger window. There he was, sitting down looking at me expectantly. "Well are you planning on getting in the car sometime this century." He smirked as he used the line I used when I first got into his car. I got in with out smiling feeling a bit scared. Not of him. Of my feelings for him and what I was about to do. Just as I was about to speak he started to talk. "Bella I'm really sorry about how I over reacted last night. I shouldn't have been so pushy. I-" I cut him off.

"No, I'm sorry. I should have told you. I was just afraid of how you would react. The truth is is that I had a nightmare that James shot you. The reason I shouted _No, Edward please _was because I was begging you not to die. I care a lot about you and if you get hurt by him it will be all my fault. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Because every moment you are with me you are in danger and I never try to tell you not to stay with me because I'm selfish as hell and I know it will hurt me if I tell you to leave."

God what was it with me and crying lately. I waited for him to tell me to get out of the car (which he had stopped somewhere during my explanation) and never speak to him again. Instead I felt his arm around me and when I looked up at him he began to speak.

"Bella, I was so scared that you thought I would hurt you and when you told me that you couldn't tell me your secret, I was hurt you wouldn't trust me. Now I realise why. I am sorry. More sorry than you could ever know." He leaned in and tilted his head and I did the same. Our kiss was soft and passionate. Electricity rushed through my body as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He pulled back and started the car. I felt a bit put out. I mean one minute we're kissing and the next minute he's driving as fast as he can to get to school. Then I saw the problem. "Shit we're late." He gave me a 'you just noticed?' look and carried on driving.

We ran into the music room and got there just as the school bell rang. We sat down and James entered. "Good morning class, I hope you all have your homework, ready to hand in. who wants to go first." there was a lack of hands. "Isabella, I didn't have a chance to hear your song yesterday, so therefore you are first"

"It's Bella. You should know." I got up in front of the class and began.

Here I am  
Once again  
Feeling lost but now and then  
I breath it in  
To let it go  
And you don't know  
Where you are now  
What it would come to  
If only somebody could hear  
When you figure out how  
You're lost in the moment  
You disappear

_(Chorus)  
You don't have to be afraid  
To put your dreams in action  
You're never gonna fade  
You'll be the main attraction  
Not a fantasy  
Just remember me  
When it turns out right  
Cause you know that if your live in  
Your imagination  
Tomorrow you'll  
Be everybody's fascination  
In my victory  
Just remember me  
When I make it shine_

Reaching high feeling low  
I'm holding on and letting go  
I like to shine I'll shine for you  
And it's time to  
Show the world how  
It's a little bit closer  
As long as I'm ready to go  
All we have is right now  
As long as you feel it inside you know

(Chorus)  
You don't have to be afraid  
To put your dream in action  
Your never gonna fade  
You'll be the main attraction  
Not a fantasy  
Just remember me  
When it turns out right

Cause you know that if you live in  
Your imagination  
Tomorrow you'll  
Be everybody's fascination  
In my victory  
Just remember me  
When I make it shine

Everyone can tell you how  
It's all been said and done  
That harder times can change your mind  
And make you wanna run  
But you want it  
And you need it  
Like you need to breathe the air  
_If they doubt you  
Just believe it  
That's enough to get you there_

(Chorus)  
You don't have to be afraid  
To put your dream in action  
Your never gonna fade  
You'll be the main attraction  
Not a fantasy  
Just remember me  
When it turns out right  
Cause you know that if you live in  
Your imagination  
Tomorrow you'll  
Be everybody's fascination  
In my victory  
Just remember me  
When I make it SHINE! 

Everyone was staring at me yet again. "Ok, seriously guys. Is it really necessary to be speachless whenever I sing. I feel like I'm no good. Which is probably true but you can at tell me." sheesh. Then James began to clap. And the class followed. I sat down and hid my face. "Isabella I would like to see you alone after class." said my brother. I shot a panicked glance at Edward. But I said "Of course Mr Swan. Can Edward stay?"

"No!"

Edward looked at me with determination. Something told me that the bad feeling I had had last night had a lot to do with this.


	6. innocent eyes

_**Hey people of Earth and beyond. Really sorry for not updating for so long. I'm sure you guys know what it's like to want to write but just not have any idea what to put down. Anyway I'm grateful to those of you who subscribed to me and will be reading the next chapter although constructive criticism and/or comments are welcome and wanted.**_

_**DISCLAIMERS:**_

· _**I do not own any character**_s _**apart from Stacey**_

_**· I do not own the song lyrics written for the characters**_

_**· I unfortunately do not own Edward and neither does Bella at the moment so read on and discover**_

_**· **_

_Edward looked at me with determination. Something told me that the bad feeling I had had last night had a lot to do with this._

The rest of the class flew by as person after person was called up to perform their songs. When the bell rang everyone grabbed their stuff and left. The last one out was Edward who gave me a look which said 'Be careful and safe'.

James looked at me. "Isabella, I like your style of music. However I think you need to work on the feeling behind the words, because although I liked the song, I just felt that it didn't have any meaning behind it."

I was outraged. I had expected verbal abuse, maybe a smack or two, but trying to act the "concerned teacher" was worse. It was as if everything that went on at home was non-existent. "Meaning, you want meaning, I'll give you meaning." I walked to the piano and sat.

"_Do you remember_

_When I was seven _

_and the only thing that I wanted to do_

_was show our mum that I could play the piano_

_Ten years have passed _

_And the only thing that lasts _

_Is that same old song, She sang along_

_Makes our daddy cry_

_I miss those days _

_I miss those ways_

_When we could talk about fantasies_

_even the cotton land of mysteries_

_In a place where no-one lies_

_In a place where no-one dies_

_and I say_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_seems I'm lost in my reflection_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_Found the star for my direction_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_for the little girl inside who won't just hide_

_who won't see mistakes and lies_

_let me keep my _

_faith and innocent eyes_

_Do you remember _

_when you were fifteen_

_you hit me, when no-one would see, _

_You became mean_

_Not much time has passed_

_and we live in the past_

_where that same old song, she sang along_

_still makes our daddy cry_

_I miss those days _

_I miss those ways_

_We could talk about fantasies_

_even the cotton land of mysteries_

_In a place where no-one lies_

_In a place where no-one dies_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_seems I'm lost in my reflection_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_Found the star for my direction_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_for the little girl inside who won't just hide_

_who won't see mistakes and lies_

_help me keep my _

_faith and innocent eyes_

_You might feel things under the hate_

_Inside your heart, It might be fate_

_I'm learning the subjects of your mind_

_seeing confusion _

_how long have you cried_

_your innocent eyes_

_I miss those days _

_I miss those ways_

_We could talk about fantasies_

_even the cotton land of mysteries_

_In a place where no-one lies_

_In a place where no-one dies_

_and I say_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_seems I'm lost in my reflection_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_Found the star for my direction_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_for the little girl inside who won't just hide_

_who won't see mistakes and lies_

_help me keep my _

_faith and innocent eyes_

_la da da da da da_

_la da da da da da_

_faith and innocent eyes_

_la da da da da da _

_la da da da da da_

_faith and innocent eyes_

_for the little girl inside_

_who won't just hide _

_who won't see mistakes and lies_

_let me keep my faith and innocent eyes_

The piano became silent

I looked at my brother. He stood there with an angry expression on his face. "How **dare** you, how dare you try and psychologically analyze me as if I'm some kind of crazy. I can't do anything now, but you will pay for that later. Just like your sister leave." I picked up my book bag and started toward the door. My thoughts went to stacey, If he had hurt her. "Oh and Isabella," I turned to look at him. "If you tell anyone about us and home, I'll kill you right after I kill them in front of you. And that includes your boyfriend." He let out a malicious laugh while I slammed the door open and closed as I left his presence.

I knew he was completely serious about killing Edward. I had to end things now before they got any further.

I managed to avoid him for the rest of the day, trying to prolong the moment I would tell him to leave me and never come back. I needed a plan though. He would never leave me if he knew the reason was James was planning on killing us. _So,_I thought. _Why not go straight to the source and strike up a deal. It would mean you wouldn't hurt Edward. _

I tried to walk home after school but Emmett cornered me right outside the gate. "Hells Bells, where you going. Edward will only be two minutes." He was wrong. He was a minute and a half. He came over looking really nervous, and strangely guilty.

As we drove in the car there was silence. But I don't mean comfortable silence. I mean the silence that threatens to swallow you whole. I found myself wondering whether he regretted kissing me.

"All right, that's enough tiptoeing around. Pull the car over." I said. He pulled over and looked at me nervously.

"What the hell is wrong with you. You're acting as if I'm about to bite your head off and eat it for dinner. Stop whatever guilt trip you're on and tell me whats got you trembling like a chihuahua."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you."

"What do you mean shouldn't" He gave me the confused look.

"Isn't that why you've been avoiding me all day."

"No, I've been avoiding you all day because of something I can't tell you until I get home and talk to Stacey."

"Oh"

The car started up again and we drove back to my house where the devil would soon arrive. I would sell my soul to keep Edward's life safe.

I was about to open the car door when I thought better of what I was about to do.

"Edward."

"Yeah Bella"

And then I kissed him. I kissed him like there was only a few minutes left in the whole world which I supposed might be true. I felt him pull away and the sting of rejection hit me like a slap in the face. "I suppose I better..." But as I reached for the silver handle of Edward's Volvo, he pulled me back. "Bella whats the matter?" And I knew he didn't mean the rejection.

"It's nothing Edward... I'm fine."

"That's a load of bullshit and you and I both know it."

"Will you just get off my back already, I told you. You won't know til I get home. Stop being so damn overbearing. I am trying to protect your fucking ass here so just shut up and leave me the hell alone." I got out and slammed the car door. Then I heard his open and close. I thought he was going to follow me but he never did. I opened the door to my house. "Stacey." I called. She had to be home already after all she was coming and going on a motorcycle. She probably had her music player on.

The door bell rang and when I answered it I saw a young man with hazel eyes and jet black hair. He wore a leather jacket and a pair of ripped jeans with combat boots. A white t-shirt was clearly visible under his open leather jacket. "Hi, I'm Bradley Wycombes, I'm here to see Stacey. Is she okay. She never met me at the old barn."

"What!, Come in. I'll check her room." I climbed the stairs, a feeling of dread creeping over me as I pushed her door open. I screamed. She was dead on the floor. Blood was spattered on the wall and her eyes were open. There was a bullet hole in her head.

After that I just about felt someone lead me away as I heard police sirens go off. I had failed. My sister was dead. The person who lead me away said something to a policeman and he agreed with whatever was said. I was lead into a house that was vaguely familiar. i was led up stairs and taken to his room. And then i cried. and she held me as i did. "Alice what am i going to do. I can't go back there. He murdered her."

"Well of course you aren't going back there, you're staying with us." She said it as if it was completely obvious.

"I couldn't impose. Seriou-"

"Bella, shut up, you're staying here."

"ok. i guess"

And that was that, I was given the guest bedroom and Alice grabbed what little belongings i owned from my house. When I unpacked I collapsed on the big bed in the middle of the room and cried what tears i had left. Because from this moment on, my life would never be the same again.

E.P.O.V

She slammed the door closed and I had the strong urge to follow her, but as i closed my car door i realised she would need time on her own to deal with whatever she had to deal with. I had barely closed the front door of the house when i heard a bloodcurdling scream. Bella. "ALICE!" i yelled, but there was no need as she was already out of the door. And so I waited by the door with baited breath for news of the love of my life.


	7. AN

**right so, i know you're annoyed with me for posting this instead of another chapter, but the truth is i'm running out of idea's. I need help. Well not help just constructive criticism to know whether there are people who want me to finish this story. I love you guys but you have to give me something to work with. so i have made a decision. If I get five reviews i will post another chapter, if not i'll end the story... in the next chapter. You guys didn't think i'd be that cruel as to leave the characters in mid plotline!**

**love all you guys**

**singalot97 the cat lover**


	8. hello fireflies!

**Hey everyone, I decided I don't care how many people review because I write because I love it, not for people to like me on fanfiction. I'm sure i thanked my best friend Megan in my first chapter but now I'm going to thank her again. Xxxmeggielovestoreadxxx I love you loads and thanx for helping me realise i write for me and not anyone else. **

**This chapter is going to be quite sad for me to write and i hope you will see why Bella is so conflicted.**

**the characters are stephanie meyer's**

**'hello' belongs to evanescence **

**'fireflies' belongs to Owl city**

**the plot...MINE! MWA HAHA  
**

I sat up in an unfamiliar bed and couldn't remember how i got there. In fact, I couldn't remember anything from the day before. I rubbed the back of my head in confusion and rolled out of the sweet cocoon i had made with the blanket around me.

I saw clothes laid out on a chair for me so i quickly slipped into them, grimacing at the mini skirt that only Alice could have forced upon me. I then descended the stairs and saw everyone at breakfast. Everyone looked terrible but Edward looked the worst. His hair was in more disarray than ever and as he looked up at me i could see his eyes were tired and bloodshot. I ran straight over to him.

"Oh my God, Edward, are you alright? Are you sick? Hurt? I can't remember anything from yesterday, what's going on?"

"Don't you remember Bella, think. I picked you up from school. You flipped on me after kissing me…"

Nothing made any sense. All I could remember was my kiss with Edward. After that I went blank. For some reason I couldn't remember where Stacey was. I chalked it up to stress. I shrugged and grabbed my backpack from its hiding place on the couch. I then said "Well are we going to school or not?"

"Bella your sister was murdered yesterday and you want to go to school." Carlyle replied with no tact.

I froze. Flashes started to come back.

_You're a useless whore and a bitch_

_If you tell anyone I'll punish you like I did your sister and your little boyfriend will pay_

_No one will ever love you. _

_You don't deserve happiness._

_Take one more step and your dead._

I could feel someone shaking me but I couldn't stop the voices

_Do I have permission to cross to your territory?_

_How did you find time with… what's going on at home?_

_How could that bastard come to our school? Like it's not enough he tortures you at home he has to bully you here too!_

_It's not like I can come to your house and tell him to stop hurting you, nor can I stand up to him in class if he starts bullying you because that would probably make things worse_

_Bella, what's wrong_

Suddenly it was my voice not Edward or James'. But it was small me.

_Daddy, Jamie hit me again. Why does he keep hitting me? Why do you let him? Why don't you kiss me goodnight anymore? Are you angry because I killed mummy? I didn't mean to daddy. Please love me again, please_

_Please_

_Please_

_Please_

My voice then became more grown up.

_Will you just get off my back already, I told you. You won't know till I get home. Will you stop being so damn over bearing, I am trying to save your fucking ass here so will you shut up and leave me the hell alone._

Then came the voice that hurt the most

_Bellsy, where's mama?_

_You told me she's always with me but I never see her._

_Will I ever see her again?_

_Daddy says you killed her. Is that why Jamie keeps hitting you but not me?_

_How could you be so mean? _

_You killed our family._

The image of Stacey lying on the floor dead floated through my mind. Then I saw my mum's face

_It's your fault. _She said

_I trusted you to keep my family together._

_You killed it_

_It's your fault_

_Your fault_

_Your fault_

_Your fault_

That was when the sobs wracked through my body. I cried for my dad. I cried for my mum. I cried for Stacey. I cried for Edward. Hell, I even cried for James. But most of all I cried for me.

After a while I registered I wasn't alone. Edward was holding me against his chest and rocking me back and forth.

"Edward"

He looked down at me and I saw his cheeks were wet.

"Yeah Bella?" he replied

"Can I use your piano?"

"Of course." He stated looking at me strangely.

When I sat, I played and sang.

_Playground School bell rings again_

_Rain clouds come to play again_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing_

_Hello I am your mind _

_Giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello_

_If I smile and don't believe_

_I know I will wake from this dream_

_Don't try to fix me I'm not broken_

_Hello I am the lie_

_Living for you so you can hide_

_I don't cry_

_Suddenly I know I'm not dreaming_

_Hello I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

E.P.O.V

Her eyes were closed with pain as she finished her song. Watching her sob on the floor almost broke me. But I realised that she needed me. So I silently supported her.

I could see she needed cheering up so I decided to embarrass myself completely.

"I wrote this song when I was ten. Please don't judge too harshly"

_You would not believe your eyes_

_If ten million fireflies_

_Lit up the world as I fell asleep_

_Because they'd fill the open air_

_Leave teardrops everywhere_

_You'd think me rude but I would just stand and stare_

_I'd like to make myself believe_

_That planet earth turns slowly_

_It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep_

_Cause everything is never as it seems_

_Cause I'd get a thousand hugs_

_From ten thousand lightening bugs_

_As they try to teach me how to dance_

_A fox trot above my head_

_A Sock hop beneath my bed _

_The disco ball is just hanging by a thread_

_I'd like to make myself believe_

_That planet earth turns slowly_

_It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep_

_Cause everything is never as it seems_

_When I fall asleep_

_Leave my door open just a crack_

_Please take me away from here_

_Cause I feel like such an insomniac_

_Please take me away from here_

_Why do I tire of counting sheep?_

_Please take me away from here_

_When I'm far too tired to fall asleep_

_To ten million fireflies_

_I'm weird because I hate goodbyes_

_I got misty eyes as they said farewell_

_But I'll know where several are_

_When my dreams get to bizarre_

_Because I saved a few and put them in a jar_

_I'd like to make myself believe_

_That planet earth turns slowly_

_It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep_

_Cause everything is never as it seems_

_When I fall asleep_

_I'd like to make myself believe_

_That planet earth turns slowly_

_It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep_

_Cause everything is never as it seems_

_When I fall asleep_

_I'd like to make myself believe_

_That planet earth turns slowly_

_It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep_

_Cause my dreams are bursting at the seams_

I had made Bella laugh several times throughout the song and she seemed happier. I quickly told her.

"Bella, I really like you but I'm not sure if you like me back. If you don't, I'm happy just being your friend, but if you do, I would really like to kiss you again."

She looked me in the eye and said with all the seriousness in the world.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Kiss me."

I leaned in and she did the same and…

**And you find out in the next chappie. Awwww I know you hate me but I like the suspense. Do you think I'll let them kiss or will Jasper make a proper appearance? Add me to author alert and find out. :D Love you guys (L)**


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